where to start when you feel overwhelmed

The other night, my husband and I had a conversation we have all the time. It was about planning, and even though it’s about different situations every time, it usually ends the same way. I get overwhelmed. And it’s hard to know where to start when you feel overwhelmed.

My hubby is a planner. So he has in mind what he wants to prepare for, and the kinds of questions to ask me to find out what he needs to know. I am not a planner. And I hate strongly dislike questions. I don’t want to think about the details. It stresses me out.

Overwhelm comes easy for me. Working my way out of it? Not so much. Usually I get so overwhelmed that I do absolutely nothing at all, and as a result, get back to where I started. Sometimes I get really motivated and start to change the way I do things all at once, and consequently I get worn out.

James is helping me with this, little by little. I’m grateful he’s so patient with me, especially since he is SUCH a planner. I resist it so much.

Feeling the stress, the odds against you, the inevitable burn-out? Here are a few ideas for where to start when you feel overwhelmed. These are things that help me with my messy self.

1. Take a minute. It helps to remove yourself from the immediate situation, and take a deep breath. Do what you need to do to regather your thoughts. I like to pray to help me gain perspective in a bigger picture. This situation is not the end of the world.

2. Write it down. Make a list of what is going on in your mind. It might be things you need to do, ideas, or thoughts. Getting it down on paper gets it out of your head, which therefore makes it a little less huge in your mind.

3. Look at your calendar. Setting reasonable deadlines makes the “getting something done” a little more plausible. My husband lately is a big believer in not writing a to-do list at all, but actually just scheduling your “to-dos”. It makes it that much more likely that you will get it done.

4. Delegate. Do you need to do all of these things yourself? What can you ask others to do, so that you don’t have to do it all? One of my recent favorite quotes is, “you can do anything, but not everything.”

5. Get help with your planning. I know it’s a problem, and I’m not satisfied with my haphazardness. Luckily God paired me with a man who appreciates the planning stage, and helps me through it. He gives me tips I try to follow.

6. Give yourself a break. Mark a few things off your list, and then give yourself a break. James suggests fifteen minutes before starting up again. My mistake is taking a long break, and then having less motivation to start again.

7. Take it one step at a time. Lastly, something else my husband always tells me. Don’t feel like you need to work it all out, RIGHT NOW. It’s impossible. Just go at your own pace, with one foot in front of the other.

What other tips help you to stay calm instead of feeling the overwhelm?