what to do when you're a hot mess mom

Hi, I’m Jenn, and I’m on the Hot Mess Mom Express.

You might be on board, too, if you relate to any of these situations:

You’re in a waiting room chasing after your toddler, who has decided that, now that he is finished saying “HIIIIII!” to every person in the room, he will go ahead and race towards the open door of the elevator.
You’re trying to check books out of the library, hold up your baby, keep a hand on your preschooler, and have a normal conversation with the librarian. She compliments, “those elephant shorts,” and you look, confused, at your toddler. He isn’t wearing elephant shorts. After a beat, you realize that you are, and she was complimenting you.
You’re frantically trying to find a new doctor’s office on a big medical campus. You are trying to ask for directions, and end up barking at your preschooler not to go in THAT direction. By the time you make it to the front desk, you are nearly in tears.
You are attempting to order preschool photos in the lobby of the school. One kid is whining about not being able to run around, the other is wriggling in your arms, and you can’t figure out how the dang order form is supposed to work. You put the littlest one down, and he takes off toward the stairs.

Not that I’ve necessarily experienced any of those…

Anyway.

I think every mom can relate.

The messy hair, the crazy eyes, the chugging caffeine like it’s your job. The frenzy, the chasing, the dashing off mid-conversation.

I have so many conversations with people on the go where I know I probably look totally crazy. Sometimes I wonder how I come across as I drag my way down the Target aisle, chatting with my toddler, who doesn’t understand a word I’m saying, and randomly exclaiming something I spontaneously remember that we need.

Mama, I get it.

At times you feel like a total train wreck. For every time things go smoothly, without a hitch, there’s about five times that you feel like the world is spinning and you’re way behind and “if this happens one more time I’m going to lose it…”

And then you spill your coffee and you’re in tears about it. Tears.

What do we do about this? How do we fix it? How do we get ourselves back together?

If you’re here, and you’re wondering these things, here’s my advice to you:

Own it. And embrace it.

This is a very full, very crazy stage of life. And we don’t give it enough credit for how difficult it is.

Think about it. Not only are you responsible for dressing yourself (in weather-appropriate clothing), taking care of your own hygiene, and making sure you eat and are well.

No, you’re also responsible for doing all of those things for the small people who depend on you. Oh, yeah – and they get distracted, don’t understand why, think it’s funny to talk back, and just plain do things their own way. Often a way you don’t prepare for.

And yet for some reason, we think we have to be perfectly together all the time. Why, Mamas? Why are we so hard on ourselves? (I blame social media.)

Here’s a “this just in” moment for us all: we don’t have to.

We don’t have to have every hair in place, or always be on time, or park perfectly.

You could wear yesterday’s clothes, and for the most part, people won’t notice.

You can opt for chicken nuggets from the drive-thru for lunch, and cereal for dinner, and heaven forbid, still give ice cream for dessert.

I don’t think anyone will fault you for being distracted in the grocery line or forgetting your own phone number right when you need to give it.

People understand.

Either they’ve been there or they’ve seen it before.

When they laugh, most often, they’re laughing with you. And if they’re laughing at you? Laugh too. It’s legitimately funny when your shoes don’t match or when your kid is taking cards out of your wallet while you’re talking.