I won’t apologize for being my husband’s biggest fan

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Years ago I received a comment on a blog post that was kind of amusing. It was something along the lines of, okay, your husband is amazing, we all get it. (I imagine there was also an eye roll here.)

I had to laugh a little. Because first of all, I didn’t feel like I was way overenthusiastic about my husband in that particular blog post. I had maybe mentioned one thing he did.

But also, so what? What if I think he’s amazing and I want to tell the world?

Good men aren’t very prominent in today’s society.

It feels like there are two standards – the machismo man who does whatever he wants, and seems to get away with it. (As characters or unfortunately, in real life too.) And then there’s media’s long-running gag to portray husbands and dads as the helpless or laughably slow ones.

The honorable ones don’t tend to get a lot of spotlight.

In an episode of “This is Us” (a show that I’m mildly obsessive about), the lead character Rebecca defends her husband to some old boyfriend who hits on her.

“My husband is a FREAKING ROCK STAR,” she says, which made me pump my fist a little.

We need a little more of that.

The men in our lives actually need all the support and encouragement and cheering on we can give them.

They’re all imperfect, sure. (So are we.) But so many of them work hard for their families, make tough choices, make sacrifices, and do their very best.

My husband, for example, spends hours on the phone with insurance and mortgage companies, because it needs to be done, and partially because he knows I hate it. He plans for our futures, while I concentrate on right now. He does our finances, because that is not my skill.

And he goes to work every day, whether he feels up to it or not. Then he comes home and almost immediately offers me a break. He plays with the kids as though he hasn’t just spent all day working hard.

And he shows me God’s love all the time. He loves me even when I’m tired or I yell or get frustrated with him, and he has no problem telling me that. He is patient with me, and we also still have fun together, even after all these years.

I want to support him and build him up, because of who he is. And because I’m his wife – it’s part of my job.

I don’t know what is going on in the life of that commenter. Or in your life.

Maybe she is married, or you are, but things are difficult, and it doesn’t feel like a happy ending. If that is the case, my heart goes out to you. I pray that you find relief, that circumstances change. I hope you have the support of people in your life who hear you and help you.

Maybe she isn’t married, but just thought I was being too mushy.

In any case, though, respectfully, I won’t apologize for being my husband’s biggest fan. He is fantastic, and I will cheer him on wholeheartedly. I hope to make him feel valued and loved and respected. Especially when society says something different.

He’s a freaking rock star.