Dear all the people at the restaurant,
(Or the fancy coffee shop, or the ice cream place, or basically anywhere in public),
Hi there. I’d like to formally introduce myself. I’m The Mom.
Yes, the Mom to the Shrieks that accompanied the giggles, or possibly tears, that interrupted your conversation.
The Mom to the tiny Feet that almost ran smack into you on the way to the bathroom.
The Mom to the small Hands that left fingerprint smudges on the glass as little eyes peeked at pastries.
Oh, kids.
They just aren’t embarrassed about stopping right in front of you, forcing you to step aside, or invading your personal space. When their voices go a few decibels above the rest of the room, they hardly notice.
But we do. We grown-ups who know better. Sometimes in a particularly chaotic moment, you wonder whether parents realize what it means to take their children in public, and trust me, I do. More than you know. Some moments make me want to camouflage to match the pattern on the wall and disappear, chameleon-style.
So, why? Why risk it?
I’ll let you in on the secret. We’re here because we want so desperately to feel like adults for five minutes. To grab a grown-up beverage (coffee counts too) and sit in a real chair and listen to jazz and feel a little fancy.
I don’t want to forget that I’m a parent. Rather, I want to embrace that side of me that takes the backseat to the one simultaneously steering the mom-mobile while handing out snacks and vaguely spouting some kind of, “don’t make me…” statement.
This might be where you expect an apology to come in. This isn’t one.
No, instead, this is my genuine “thank you,” to you.
For smiling and saying, “don’t worry about it! or “it’s okay!” when I apologize for the interruption. For looking me in the eyes and chatting about anything, even the weather, while my kids tug at my arm and I break our conversation every five seconds. For not making it a big deal when something falls to the ground.
Cheers to you employees, who kindly reassure us that it happens all the time, as you mop up water from an overturned cup. Also to you college kids, who are locked in a game of peekaboo with my toddler, making him crack up again and again. I would hug you if it wouldn’t be super awkward.
You probably don’t know how much your patience and compassion mean to the parenthood.
So, let me be the one to tell you: try, “the world.”
Thank you for including us in society, when it would be oh so much easier for us to just stay home, or to stick to “restaurants” with singing mechanical mice, at the expense of my sanity.
On most occasions, we will be elsewhere, eating dinner as a picnic in the park, or sweeping up crumbs off the kitchen floor. But those moments when we get to be in a grown-up public space like the people we used to know – well, we are just grateful for the opportunity to be here.
Sincerely, The Mom
Photo by Katherine Chase on Unsplash
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