bible verses for when your feelings are hurt

How to respond when your feelings are hurt.

It’s something we all spend our whole lives trying to figure out. Especially as Christians. Because as much as we want to “be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect,” we are most definitely not perfect.

We form opinions and think and act on our own experiences and biases. And we can hurt feelings out of misunderstanding, pain, anger, or even unwittingly.

It feels like there’s a lot of hurt feelings going around right now. If you’re living through quarantine with family or friends, you’ve been in close quarters for a long time. Stepping on each other’s toes comes with the territory.

And then on the other hand, so much of our interaction right now is not happening in person – it’s happening through video and text and social media. Which means lots of room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding.

Any way you stack it, words can fly. And sometimes our hurt leads us to question God, and question everything. Why would God let this happen? Or also, Why would someone who professes to be a follower of Jesus do that?

First you need to know: God fully knows and fully loves you. Yes, you.

And he loves the people around you. Yes, them, too.

That’s the place we always need to start when considering our interactions with other people. What they say or do does not define us (and not always them either). Our track records, mistakes and histories don’t define us.

God is for you – he designed you with purpose, views you as the apple of his eye, sings over you. He wanted so much to have a relationship with you that he allowed his Son to die for you.

He is abundant in his love toward us, doesn’t see us in terms of our sin, and always works for our good.

Got it? Good. Now we can get to the nitty gritty.

Here are some Bible verses for when your feelings are hurt.

PLEASE KNOW: These verses are meant to address hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and verbal conflict.

They are not meant to address any form of abuse. There is no reason or excuse for abuse.

Also, these verses don’t dismiss or justify anything wrong done to you. They don’t imply that you should stay silent or just let yourself be hurt. And they don’t mean that you can’t respond, share your voice, set boundaries, or act justly.

The goal with these is to help us keep a Godly perspective when we feel hurt, to do things his way as far as it depends on us, and to not sit and stew, or dwell in our hurt feelings. Hopefully they will help us to maintain our integrity and act with grace as well as truth.

Verses on following Jesus’s Example

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. – 1 Peter 2:21-23

But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person. – John 2:24-25

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as that of Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. – Philippians 2:3-7

Again – please don’t take these verses as a reason to subject yourself to someone’s abuse. There is never an excuse for abuse.

Verses on forgiveness

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. – Colossians 3:12-14

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32

Please know – you can forgive someone for an offense, but you also can have boundaries in place to protect your mind, heart, body, and soul from that person if it is needed.

Your forgiveness doesn’t make what that person did okay. It is a gift God gives us so that we can be free of the heavy sin that comes with bitterness and hate.

Verses on making peace

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. – Matthew 5:9

Consider the blameless, observe the upright; a future awaits those who seek peace. – Psalm 37:37

They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. – 1 Peter 3:11

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. – James 3:17-18

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. – Romans 12:18

Verses on keeping your tongue and anger in check

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. – James 1:19-20

Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. – Proverbs 18:2

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. – Proverbs 29:11

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. – Romans 12:17

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. – Ephesians 4:31

Verses for trusting God to fight your battles

All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s… – 1 Samuel 17:47

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. – Psalm 28:7

Verses to remind us we are all on the same page

For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. – Ephesians 2:8-9