let go of trying to be prepared

We are transitioning through our cross-country move, and you know what? I wish I hadn’t tried so hard to be prepared.

That sounds strange, doesn’t it? Let me explain.

As you might have already read, this move was hoped for, attempted, didn’t work out, and then very quickly, did work out. 

In all that time, I had a very strong inclination to want to be ready.

I mean, ready in the following ways:

emotionally, to cope and handle the stress and the ups and downs;

spiritually, to be in the best shape possible with my relationship with God;

physically, to get our house in order;

relationally, to be ready to get to know new people;

mentally, knowing there were big changes in order.

And probably more than that.

It seems like it would be wise to prepare yourself for every possibility, every potential outcome.

We put a lot of stock in being absolutely prepared. Like the clouds will part, the signs will all point in the right direction, and we will just feel this incredible peace that comes with being ready for anything. (I’m thinking of heavenly voices and glowing light.)

We’ve made it. We’ve worked out every possible thing that could go wrong (or right) and think that that will help us face the future with confidence.

But really, all we do is run in circles, trying to prepare ourselves with zero idea what to expect.

To be honest, it’s just frustrating. I kept hitting a brick wall every time a curveball was thrown, or when feelings started to catch up with me. 

Let’s back up: it’s good to be responsible and take care of what you can. 

I’m talking things like getting rid of old items room by room, touching up paint, scheduling times to say goodbye to old friends. Those are tangible, realistic goals you can accomplish.

There are things that need to be done. Make those to-do lists and tackle them one by one.

It gets tricky when we get into the vague concepts that we feel like we “should” be ready for.

Like saying you will absolutely be happy whether the job works out or not. 

Or planning every “last conversation” you’ll have with the people in your life so that, in your head, they’ve all worked out perfectly and shown little emotion. 

Or trying to get every single bit of advice you can get about every single little factor, and trying to apply it all. 

Maybe even like trying to learn all you can about your new location so when you show up, you won’t look like a newbie. 

We think and overthink until we spiral out of control, thinking of all the details we can or can’t figure out. We feel like we “should” have all our ducks in a row before we move forward. But the truth is, we can’t. 

There’s only so much we can prepare. 

Because only God knows what’s ahead. And he gives us these opportunities to face things we have no experience with so we can grow through the process. He gives us a chance to have faith, to be brave, to take risks, and to draw close to him, too. 

I wish I hadn’t spent so much time stressing about whether or not I was ready for this move. Because at the end of the day, I still felt emotional overwhelm. It still strikes me at inconvenient times. There are still things we have yet to figure out.

“Great people do things before they are ready,” says the amazing Amy Poehler. “They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that – that’s what life is.”

If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting our whole lives. 

I encourage you, whatever process you’re in the middle of today, whatever great decisions you’re making  – focus less on the whole “trying to be prepared” thing.

It will serve you better to make a list of what you can actually get done, check off the tasks when you’re done, and focus more on taking care of you through the process. Which inevitably will include the unexpected and unplanned. 

Photo 1 by Daniel Gonzalez on Unsplash

Photo 2 by ian dooley on Unsplash