Ever get one of those moments when the term “seeing red” just absolutely comes to life for you? It’s like your perspective is temporarily out of order while you can’t see anything other than frustration.
Lately those times come a little more often. I can blame the third trimester and hormones, I can blame my toddler or the “terrible twos”. (Although, it’s actually threes, by the way). But honestly? I can have just a bit of a hot temper.
And then my response isn’t always…the greatest. The other day, while going back and forth with my toddler over him getting to watch an “airplane video” (literally watching airplanes take off and land), I gave in, and then immediately left the room and kicked a block across the floor, furious. It seems so ridiculous now. And it did nothing to calm my nerves in the moment.
I don’t know what makes you see red, but if you’re like me, you need a better solution than kicking some innocent toy block. The last thing I want to end up doing is hurting my kiddo or teaching him it’s okay to lash out against anyone or anything when he’s mad.
So I’ve put together some ways to instantly calm down when you’re upset. It’s a good opportunity to stay in control in the moment, and then deal with the issue (which is usually more than just an airplane video) at another time.
1. Take a deep breath. Forbes talks about the power of taking control of your breathing, instead of letting it control you. Also, here are some breathing exercises to try!
2. Step outside. Vitamin D helps, and there is power in breathing in some fresh air.
3. Count down from 10, or to 10, or whatever number. It’s a classic, but it works. (Although this article says “not so much” – what do you think?)
4. Take a bite of something sweet. Huffington Post says it’s okay 🙂 Just don’t go overboard!
5. Do a few quick stretches, or even yoga poses. I’m a big believer in yoga for stress relief.
6. Say a prayer.
7. Press your thumb into the palm of your hand, or find another pressure point. Here’s a good post on acupressure.
8. Smell some lavender essential oil. Its effectiveness for a list of symptoms, including irritability, is compared to antidepressants in this study.
9. Think of some things you are thankful for. Love the concept here of cultivating gratitude!
10. Recite a mantra/scripture.
Some scriptures that help me when it comes to anger? (All New International Version)
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20
“‘In your anger, do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” – Ephesians 4:26-27
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” – Psalm 103:8
“An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.” – Proverbs 29:22
Things that don’t help:
1. Hitting, punching, kicking. I always think it will be a good release, but it just sets a bad precedent, and doesn’t actually make the situation any better.
2. Social media spree. Diving into my phone usually makes me feel worse.
3. Toughing it out. I need to be proactive about calming myself down. If I think I can just grit my teeth and bear it, I usually fail.
Another major help, although it doesn’t happen in an instant? Getting some good time to yourself before the day starts. It’s so needed for me. I need a bit of time in the morning where I’m not rushing, chasing, correcting, etc. It involves a little effort on my part, and yet it is so worth it. It also doesn’t happen every day with my little guy, but when I get it, I notice a big difference.
How do you deal with your anger throughout the day? Do you have any scriptures you hold onto?
I love these! Thank you!
Thanks for reading!
Love!