The holidays are coming to a close, which means back to status quo for our family. That’s both a relief and a challenge. Getting back into our regular routine takes plenty of time and effort on our part. So, currently, the thought of hospitality is far from my mind.
Hospitality in my definition is welcoming others into our home, maybe for dinner or to stay with us. And really, it’s a way to connect, a crucial thing for us as we establish roots in our new home. It’s also an essential part of our Christian walk to be able to love and serve in this way.
I’m growing in my practice of hospitality, because it’s not something I prioritize. It can feel like a high pressure thing, especially as an introvert who battles social anxiety.
But hospitality doesn’t have to be an overwhelming thing.
Today I’m welcoming the expert (although I’m sure she wouldn’t call herself that). My friend Katie Deckert believes strongly in the purpose and power of hospitality. She centers her blog, Hospitable Homemaker, around the topic, and walks the walk, too. She’s sharing tips today on dealing with hospitality overwhelm. Thanks, Katie!
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Hosting guests sounds like a good idea until reality hits. When we start to envision all the extra work, time, and the fact that real people will be in our homes when things are less than perfect, it gets overwhelming quickly.
Our minds race with questions about what we will cook, how we will get it all done and what expectations our guests will have when they walk in the door.
We wince a little and put hospitality off for another month or two “when things settle down a bit.” But that time never seems to come.
We know that hospitality is a good concept, it just seems too impractical and overwhelming for everyday life.
I’ve been there! More than once…
Real Life Hospitality Overwhelm
On one particular occasion, I was convinced there was no way I had time for everything involved in hosting. My house was not at all ready and I was running late for a Bible study I was leading when my husband called to say he was on his way but needed to stop to pick someone up who would spend the evening with him while I was away.
I instantly got overwhelmed and angry.
My poor husband didn’t know what to think as I hung up the phone and began racing around the house trying to tidy this and that, all the while fuming that he would invite without warning me.
Then I read 1 Peter 4:9, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” and I was undone! I had instantly begun grumbling about what someone would think of my housekeeping and I had lost out on the joyful gift hospitality is supposed to be.
See, hospitality is a good gift from a good father who knows all about our busy schedules and messy houses and still makes this command.
There must be a way to be hospitable, even in busy seasons, and still, find joy.
The good news is, hospitality doesn’t have to feel overwhelming or all-consuming, it can mesh well with real life, and it can turn into something we do with joy.
Cultivating Community Amid Overwhelm
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Keep Our Eyes on Christ
Hospitality matters. God commands his people to be hospitable in several passages of Scripture (1 Peter 4:9, Romans 12:13, Hebrews 13:2). This is a concept near to God’s heart because he desires that his people live life together and showcase his character to the world around them.
We should care about hospitality because God cares about it. Hospitality shouldn’t be something we do to check an item off a list. Instead, it is an opportunity for God to use us as he pleases to accomplish his purposes in the world.
When we fix our eyes on the added tasks and the possible judgment that comes from opening up our homes and being vulnerable, it is easy to live in a perpetual state of overwhelm and anxiety.
When we take our eyes off our circumstances and put them on Christ, we see that there is a purpose here much beyond just entertaining guests for the evening. Christ is magnified in our weak hospitality as we look to him for aid.
When the thought of hospitality becomes all-consuming, we need to take a step back and put our eyes firmly on our Savior who has commanded us to be hospitable and can meet our needs in every moment.
With our eyes fixed on Christ, hospitality becomes much less overwhelming.
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Simplify
Sometimes hospitality is overwhelming because of everything we add to it.
We scan Pinterest and decor blogs and think our homes don’t measure up. We get stuck comparing our budget meals and sparingly decorated homes with the elaborate festivities we see other people enjoying. And, because of that, we are left with a sense of overwhelm and fear.
We wonder what people will think when they see our homes and we fear their judgment. We also get overwhelmed trying to make everyone believe we always live like those Instagram photos make it seem.
In Christian hospitality, we have the opportunity to offer very simple things for the glory of God. Whatever we plan to feed our families can be shared. That means if all we could do today is swing by a pizza place on our way home or if we are struggling financially and we stretched the soup a little too far, we can still welcome others in and even ask them to bring the bread or salad.
Christian hospitality is not entertaining. It can and should be simple and filled with love.
Christian hospitality is an opportunity to focus on our guests and love them well. Everything else is just fluff – it can be nice to have but not necessary.
We must simplify and focus on the people who are joining us more than anything else. Getting this concept into our hearts and minds will radically help ease our overwhelm.
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Ask for Help
Most of us hate to ask for help. We want to be superheroes who accomplish everything on our own. However, Christian hospitality is not the place for an “I’ve got this” attitude.
Far from it, Christian hospitality is an opportunity for us to welcome people into our real lives, with our mess and busyness and quickly assembled meals. It is also an opportunity for us to live out the “one another” commands of the Bible together as we not only offer hospitality to one another but use that hospitality as an opportunity to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) and love one another (1 Peter 4:8).
Asking for help is a good thing. It displays the fact that this is not an opportunity for us to show off but instead an opportunity for us to welcome others into our lives.
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Team Up
This is a practical way to ditch the overwhelm when it comes to offering hospitality!
Team up with others in your church, neighborhood, or friend group.
If you have a large house, offer to host and ask a friend who’s a great cook if they will bring the meal or vice versa. You can then invite church visitors, neighbors, or other friends without feeling as though the weight of the whole evening is on your shoulders.
This is a great way for a group of friends to be together without becoming a clique. It allows everyone in the group to be hospitable, it is less intimidating all around, and it cuts down on the prep time and clean-up significantly!
This is also a great way to keep everyone accountable for making hospitality a priority. Working together allows us to share the burden, cut the overwhelm, and remind one another to keep our eyes on Christ.
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Believe God
Christian hospitality isn’t about making a grand gesture. It is about walking in obedience as we seek to welcome others the way we have been welcomed by Christ (Romans 15:7).
God cares about Christian hospitality because it showcases his character. It shows the watching world that he is a God who extends a gracious welcome to sinners now and one day will lavish his guests with a beautiful feast (Revelation 19). It points to his goodness, generosity and kind reception of strangers.
Hospitality sometimes feels like a small thing. We wonder what could matter about people eating an ordinary meal in an ordinary home on an ordinary night. But, it matters greatly to God. So much so that right after he says “the end of all things is near” in 1Peter 4:7, he adds “offer hospitality” in verse 9. It’s as if he is saying, “The world is ending! Invite someone to dinner.”
When we offer hospitality, we are saying that we believe God. We believe he is all-wise and his commands are always for our good. We believe he can show his glory through our simple acts of obedience and he can change the world through ordinary means.
Offering hospitality is a simple display that we are trusting God to work even when it all seems too simple to matter and that is beautiful.
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Just start
Everything always seems more overwhelming before we try it. It’s easy to build things up in our minds and make them more intimidating than they need to be.
Practice in hospitality makes it much less overwhelming so honestly, a very important step toward beating hospitality overwhelm is just starting.
Put hospitality on the calendar. Make it a priority. Recognize that it will be harder in the beginning and we will be tempted to take our eyes off Christ but we can’t let that stop us! We must honor God by taking the next step in obedience.
If you want to make hospitality a priority for your life in 2020, consider joining me to use the Cultivate Community Binder. It is set up with this goal in mind – cultivating community by providing gospel help for hosting. It makes just starting a whole lot easier!
Hospitality is Worth the Effort
Hospitality can be overwhelming. This is true especially when we make it something it doesn’t need to be. We take our eyes off Christ.
But, taking one simple step in obedience and depending on Christ in prayer, will help lower that overwhelm.
Hospitality is worth the effort because God will use it for our blessing, for our guests’ encouragement, and for his glory.
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BIO: Katie Deckert is a wife and busy mom on a mission to cultivate community in northern Virginia. She is passionate about providing gospel help for hosting to equip women everywhere to open their hearts and homes to others as they live out the gospel’s radical welcome. She writes about hospitality, homemaking, and cultivating community at her blog Hospitable Homemaker. If you would like to take this journey with her, find out more about the Cultivate Community Binder.
Photo credit:
1 – Andrew Wong on Unsplash
2 – Annie Spratt on Unsplash
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