5 ways to keep from being owned by your phone

There is a lot of buzz about social media right now, especially surrounding Essena O’Neill’s big proclamation against it.

I applaud Essena for being real about what her motivations used to be in social media (money and acceptance), and what the actual results were (low self-esteem, self-starvation, endless time spent). I love that she is trying to warn people, especially teens, against getting too sucked in.

But my opinion of social media is different. She claims that it is “contrived” and has “delusional powers,” basically blaming social media for being the problem. I disagree. I think it is our decision whether or not social media has power over us. We can choose to get absorbed in it, try to make our lives look perfect, become jealous of others and insecure about ourselves, spend hours measuring our acceptance based on “social approval, likes, validation, in views, success in followers” (as Essena says) – or not.

This perfectly coincides with something my husband and I have been realizing about our phones. James has noticed that his stress level is affected by checking his phone while he’s at work. It distracts him and makes him think about all the other things going on that he is getting messages about.

At home, I’ve realized I can get sucked into my phone – even if it’s for something “productive,” like working on my blog – more than giving my attention to my family. I can get so down and discouraged about not having as many followers or likes as someone else, to the point of being jealous or insecure, like I mentioned before. Instead of being present, my mind can be ten different places. In both instances, we can choose to check our phones constantly and be affected by these things, or not!

We’ve basically decided that we need to be more controlled in our phone usage. I keep thinking of my son: do I want him to grow up seeing me with my phone constantly in my face? Do I want him to think that he needs to be just as obsessed with social media and his phone? Of course not!

I also think of the bigger picture. God made me just as he wanted me to be. What am I saying about him if I constantly put myself down and compare myself to others? That’s not a grateful way to live, and a life of insecurity is not what he planned for me.

Feeling similar problems with getting too wrapped up in it all? Here are some ways to keep from being owned by your phone:

1. Set specific times for phone usage. Instead of checking it every few minutes, set certain times in the day to check your phone, or update your social media. We’ve found this helps us to be less stressed about incoming messages, as well as keeping us from forgetting messages we checked earlier, but wanted to respond to later.
2. No phones in the bedroom. Oh how tempting it is to just reach over and grab it, and scroll a few minutes before bed, or in the middle of the night. Not anymore! We’ve been having trouble sleeping, and my hubby recently outlawed phones in our room. It’s actually made a difference, helping us to get ready to sleep without a screen. (Don’t think it’s a serious problem? This article might make you think twice.)
3. Have a purpose. Why are you reaching for your phone? Is it because you’re bored? Anxious? Lonely? Emotions are not the best reasons to check your phone – it’s just another way to let it control you, making you feel better for now, or more likely, worse. Instead, have a purpose, like hitting your optimal time to post to social media, or trying to capture a moment with a picture.
4. Stick to a time limit. Give yourself 5 minutes to check your phone (or adjust to what you actually need). If you’re tempted to scroll through Facebook, that’s fine – but only within your time frame. Don’t let yourself get sucked in!
5. Remove social media apps, or take a hiatus. I’ve put my Facebook account on hold multiple times. It truly does help me not to compare my life to others, or to waste a lot of time on that account. It’s a good time to clear your head, and get back in the present.

What are your thoughts about social media and phones? Are we addicted as a culture? Who or what is to blame? What tips do you have to keep from letting your phone own you?