dear first-time pregnant mama

Dear First-Time Pregnant Mama,

You’re probably in a million different places at once right now. You may be feeling all sorts of emotions: joy, anxiety, anticipation, confusion, random bursts of energy, sadness, crankiness. But take a deep breath. It’s okay. It comes with the territory.

Physically, you’re changing quickly and slowly at the same time. Nine months seem like forever, and only a little happens every day. But some days you wake up and everything feels different. Your body is demanding a lot from you, as it puts together a new little person.

I remember feeling a sort of out-of-body experience in my first pregnancy. Who is this person with the new body, registering for bottles and researching safe cribs? It was like molding into a new person, maybe one that could take on the responsibility of being a mom.

Look at that innocent face. It has no idea what it’s getting itself into. Do any of us? Even if someone gives us a detail-by-detail account of what the other side looks like, it still won’t be your experience. Because every birth story, every recovery, every baby is different. Even with baby #2, I have no idea what things will be like.

So I don’t want to tell you about the miracle baby product that will make your whole life easier, or the signs that a huge developmental milestone is about to happen, because I don’t really know. Your experience will likely be very different from mine.

But I do have one piece of advice for you: enjoy this. Enjoy this whole time. Because whatever happens, it won’t be quite like this again. You won’t experience the mind-boggling amazement at the first pregnancy test that actually says yes. No matter what your free time looks like, you won’t get to rest like you get to now. Date nights will look completely different after you give birth. Life will change completely, and you won’t go back to life as it was before.

I’m not trying to scare you! Life gets even more amazing. Caring for a little one pushes you beyond your comfort zone and shows strength you don’t even know you have. It inspires you every day. And it comes with more joy than you can even understand.

But here in my second pregnancy, I’m realizing how completely different it all is. I don’t just get to rest or get time with my husband whenever, since we have a little one to take care of already. I’m here for all the changes and fun moments, but not completely, because my son gets most of my attention. (He’s a good distraction, but definitely a distraction.) And things just are not quite as magical this time around (maybe because of the distraction). Things are just different, and I don’t think my first-time pregnant self realized what it had at the time.

I encourage you to embrace this season of life. Enjoy all the big and little moments. Push through the frustrations and challenges when they come, and know that incredible things are about to happen.