5 ways to build up your spouse

I’ve noticed there are some things that makes my husband incredibly encouraged. My goal is to fight for these things and do them with intention. I love him so much, he does such a crazy amount to take care of us, and he deserves all the encouragement I can give.

These are the things that make my hubby happy. If you’re looking for ways to build up your spouse, here are some ideas:

1. Give 100% of your attention.

I’m one of those kind of people who thinks I’m able to do 4 things at one time successfully, but it’s just not true. So what ends up happening is I’m pretending like I’m listening to my husband or engaging in an activity with him like watching a movie, but I’m not really paying attention. He can tell, and it’s probably the number one thing he can’t stand.

2. Pray together.

I can’t tell you how many times my husband has said he is encouraged by us praying together. He likes being able to hear what’s on my heart, and I feel the same. It feels intimate and brings us closer, not to mention helps us to keep up with what’s going on with each other.

3. Acts of service.

Who really likes doing the dishes or taking out the trash? But isn’t it nice when someone else takes care of it? That’s the kind of thing my hubby appreciates. And when I go out of my way, it really gets his attention. Like, for example, when I bake him some cookies or run an errand for him.

4. Take note of comments and <deep breath> constructive criticism.

Generally, this comes in the nicest way possible, and sometimes it doesn’t ; ) But there are times when my husband has suggestions for me. Some of them are silly and not a huge deal – like about my hairstyle – and some of them are more serious – like being more organized and a better listener (see number one). Okay, and yeah, I tend to be emotional about it. But accepting it and working on it means the world to my hubby. It means that I care about his opinion, and trust him no matter what. But he also accepts me just the way I am, and I know that. I also appreciate that he is honest with me.

5.  Fighting – and fighting fair.

I used to just back off when we argued, for the most part. Or rush to say, “I’m sorry,” just so we could be resolved. If I did get really upset, I would end up running away and not talking, and not giving him the chance to talk. Something that is actually encouraging for my husband is fighting back for what I want, not just giving in. And then if it goes all-out, even if I want to take some time to think about it, just expressing to him what’s going on, and not leaving him in the dark. And letting him give his side.

How do you build up your spouse?