tips for thriving as an introvert at-home mom

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Let’s talk about something few people do.

I’m an introvert – which is not a negative thing! I just appreciate my alone time. Time with other people is great and I need it, but it can drain my energy fast. And having time to recharge by myself directly correlates to the amount of time I can interact in an engaging way.

But I’m also a stay-at-home mom.

Which means constant attention and company. Little ones who can’t be left alone for more than the few minutes it takes to put dishes in the dishwasher. Kids who unwittingly tend to interrupt thoughts, quiet, and peace.

Also, we’re constantly on the go. So that usually includes play dates and activities and such, where we interact with other adults and kids.

First of all, I’m not complaining.

I love motherhood, my kiddos, and being able to stay home with them. Being an introvert is just part of my personality, and most of the time we get through it well.

But here are the facts: kids need a lot of time and attention, and that can tire an introvert out. Even if they’re your kids.

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone! I’m learning to appreciate my introvert self, and not neglect it, not just for me, but for my husband and my kids.

Taking care of myself and being in tune with my introversion means I can be at my best for my family. Whereas ignoring those needs leaves me cranky, impatient, and not very interactive.

Here are some things that help.

Don’t ignore the signs.

Start taking note of how you feel when you get sufficient time to yourself, and when you don’t.

With alone time, I smile more, feel like actually playing with my kids, and my husband even makes a note of how much more positive I seem.

When I don’t have a lot of alone time, I can be overly irritable, get lost in my phone or some other kind of escape, and react impatiently. I don’t want to be touched or to talk.

Self-awareness and self-kindness have not always been my strengths. So it’s only recently I’m realizing these things, not just brushing them off, and getting intentional about them.

Protect the you time.

You time is important, and whether you’re an introvert or not, you should protect it, Mama! I can’t assume you always have opportunities for it. All home situations and all kids are different. But find that time, and protect it when you can.

For example – nap time. My oldest doesn’t nap anymore. He would stay up, and by the end of the day, I was noticeably more irritable and frustrated. Recently we decided to have him take a rest time in his room. He doesn’t have to sleep, he can play quietly or read books.

This gives me a chance to nap, work on the blog, read, or get something else done. And since we’ve been doing that, my mood is much better in the afternoons.

Accept help.

Again, protecting that time is important! If people offer to help, don’t feel guilty about taking it.

Saturdays have become “Dadderdays” around here, if only for the morning or afternoon. My hubby will take the boys out and get some quality time with them, just the three of them.

It sounds silly, but I can feel anxious or guilty about this. I feel bad that we’re not all spending time together (even though we do at other times during the weekend). Or that my husband has to take on all the responsibility (even though he is perfectly capable and loves spending time with them).

Another opportunity for this is when friends offer to watch my kids. I am learning how to say yes instead of no. There are always kind ways to return the favor later.

Recharge well.

We all know it. There are ways to recharge well, and there are ways that make the time fly but still leave you feeling empty.

I have to feel it out, because what I need in the moment is different all the time. But things that don’t usually work? Cranking out a whole bunch of chores or work on my blog, or mindlessly scrolling through social media.

Things that do? A nap, a shower, getting something to eat, reading, getting one thing off my to-do list, maybe an episode of a TV show.

Set boundaries.

I really have to be intentional about protecting my space and sanity since I spend most of my time at home. We mostly keep our room off-limits to the kids for this reason (snuggle time doesn’t count).

We also really do try to stick to bedtimes, to protect that time at night just for us, along with keeping the kids on a regular-ish schedule. Nothing is perfect, and nothing is set in stone. But it does make a difference.

Go out of the house.

Counter-intuitive? Not really. The more time I spend at home, without other adults around, the more awkward I can feel once I’m back around them. Also, I just get more stir-crazy being home – we all do.

Getting outside, going to a play place, or heading to a library can be so refreshing, even if I have to push myself to go. We have memberships at a few local museums, so it gives us great familiar places to go, even when it gets cold or rainy.

How about you? How do you take care of your introvert side as a mom that is so often surrounded by her tribe?