embrace your pace: for moms finding calm during the holidays

This year, I finally accepted that we won’t be doing Christmas cards. (Sorry, if you were waiting for one.) All in all, it’s because I’ve decided that finding calm during the holidays is more important to me than keeping up.

Or, if you want to get more specific: the stress of photographing and making and sending those cards outweighs the stress of not sending them.

Even if it means we don’t have another cute family photo lovingly placed on someone else’s fridge. Even if it breaks the family tradition I’ve fought for.

So often, we define how well our holidays are going by looking in all the wrong places.

Instagram shows us how woefully under-decorated our houses are. Smiles on Facebook warn of the fun we’ve missed (although we might live halfway around the world from it).

Even those Christmas cards I mentioned earlier can be a source of tension for me. I wasn’t kidding about the stress of not sending them. I worry that I’m not a good enough mom and friend because I didn’t make those little pieces of paper happen this year.

But looking at the context – still being in the whirlwind of moving, of traveling, of family in and out of town. And we’re doing pretty good, considering. We have a Christmas tree. We saw the Nutcracker.

And even if all those things didn’t happen, we have hot cocoa and Christmas movies. We’re doing okay.

This year, I have a new mantra.

Embrace your pace.

I’ve done the busy Christmas season, and I have the blog posts to back it up.

The Christmas traditions to start with your family. 50 things to do together for Christmas. Even how to plan an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party. If you’re looking for those things, wanting to try something new or get ideas, check those out. (A commenter once said they were the least original ideas she’s ever heard, by the way, so…pretty big accomplishment.)

There is nothing wrong with soaking up this season in all its glory. You might thrive with full calendars and to-do lists. If this is your time of year to shine, Mama, go all in.

I’m going to be real with you – this year, I’m on the other end of the spectrum. I am just too tired to do so much this year. And that’s okay, too.

Embrace your pace.

Finding calm during the holidays is as simple as finding your rhythm, the one that keeps you centered and joyful and not pulling your hair out.

Maybe you can handle a bit more on your plate this year. Or maybe you, like me, are finding you need to say no to a few more things.

Guess what? Christmas isn’t measured by how many parties you attended, or cookies you ate, or cards you gave or received.

What counts is how you feel, and how you make others feel. And I’d hate to miss it by stretching myself too thin, trying to keep up with someone else’s rhythm. (Say it with me, “Good for them, not for me,” a la Amy Poehler.)