bible verses for when it's not about you

Need some Bible verses for when it’s not about you? Read on.

Friends and family of mine are suffering right now.

They are in pain. They are suffering loss, dread, anxiety, anger, frustration, exhaustion, trauma.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurting too. This has been an incredibly difficult year. Many days feel heavy and emotional. That counts and it matters.

But.

But my friends and family have pain is bigger. Deeper. More urgent. To do with their very identities, their safety, their rights, their lives. These things are compromised for them, when they should be free.

And I, on the other hand, never stopped to question it. Society has set me up with a privileged life, and I didn’t choose to see any differently.

Here’s what I know about God.

He created us, loves us, and knows us intimately. God hurts when we hurt. He feels our pain deeply, and is always working for our good, even when we can’t see it.

And because he loves his children so much, he wants us to love each other, too. Not just any love – his love. Jesus’s love. A love where the other person comes first. It’s just as radical and unexpected now as it was then.

But how often does our love look like his? How can our love for others come before our very own selves?

It starts with listening. Listening and not reacting. Listening and learning. Which involves putting my pride last to listen to someone else’s feelings without defensiveness or immediate reaction or dismissing. Especially when it comes to the sins of arrogance, favoritism, and racism, as well as sins of omission.

It not being about you sounds hard because it is. It’s uncomfortable and humbling. I’m still learning it, so I don’t have advice to give. But we do have the Word, which makes us “thoroughly equipped for every good work”, according to 2 Timothy 3:17.

Need some help with being open to listening and understanding? Here are some Bible verses for when it’s not about you.

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death – even death on a cross! – Philippians 2:1-8

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. – John 13:34-35

To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices. – Mark 12:33

Therefore, let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. – Romans 14:13

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. – Romans 12:9-13

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. – Romans 12:15

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. – 1 John 3:16-18

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. – Romans 15:5-6

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. – Colossians 3:12-15

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. – James 1:19

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21

But what about speaking the truth and giving correction?

God’s truth is always needed.

And yet our truth doesn’t always come from love, like God’s does. Sometimes we put out the truth too quickly out of fear, without understanding, in an attempt to appease our own consciences. It can even become a source of pride for us, our speed in speaking truth. (In case you’re wondering, I am guilty of this, too.)

James 3:16-18 says, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”

We will never “arrive” in these things this side of heaven.

We will always have to work on them, as long as we’re on this earth. But guess what? We can apologize and start over any time. God’s mercies are new every day (Lamentations 3:23).

Friends, I pray that we take what we’re hearing and seeing in all of these recent tragic events, and choose to love like Jesus did. Even when we don’t understand or disagree. We can always look to be more like him.

How about you?

What are your favorite Bible verses for when it’s not about you? What helps you grow in Jesus’s perspective and character? How can you grow in your love for others?

Photo Credit:

1 – Chungkuk Bae on Unsplash

2 – Chandra Oh on Unsplash

3 – Lina Trochez on Unsplash

4 – Ales Me on Unsplash